“…Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31
It’s almost Saint Valentine’s Day, and love is in the air. Kids are preparing heart-shaped cards for their classmates, and the demand for flowers and chocolate is through the roof. This is good in many respects, but I wonder what the real Saint Valentine would think about the vague sentimentality and consumerism that characterize this celebration.
The man behind the holiday was a Roman priest who died around the year 270 A.D. as a martyr under the persecution of Emperor Claudius II. As someone willing to die for his faith, he proves that true love is not sentimental, but sacrificial.
It’s not that our modern culture takes love too far; rather, it does not take love far enough. The ideas that our society holds up as “love” are usually only shadows of the real thing.
More often than not, we describe “love” as a good feeling or pleasure that we get from another person. Unfortunately, with this selfish attitude, the minute the other person stops giving us what we want, we stop “loving” them.
Saint Pope John Paul II offers us a different vision of love. In his Angelus address on February 13th, 1994, he said:
Authentic love is not a vague sentiment or a blind passion. It is an inner attitude that involves the whole human being. It is looking at others, not to use them but to serve them. It is the ability to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and to suffer with those who are suffering. It is sharing what one possesses so that no one may continue to be deprived of what he needs. Love, in a word, is the gift of self.
This gift always seeks the greatest good of the one we love. It’s not enough to simply accept others, love demands that we take the next step and give of ourselves in an effort to help them. This notion has been distorted by the secular imposition of “tolerance” as the highest ideal. We’ve been sold a lie that equates “love” with being nice. We’ve been told that disagreeing with someone is the same as hating them. But, that is not logical. In fact, I cannot tolerate something unless I disagree with it. You see, I would never say that good health is something I must tolerate. Instead, it’s disagreeable things, such as headaches or colds that I must tolerate. Besides, Jesus didn’t tell us to simply tolerate one another; He commanded us to love one another.
True love involves wanting and working for the highest good of another person. Often that means telling them something they won’t like or don’t want to hear. If my friend is harming himself by doing drugs, I’m not going to just sit there and “tolerate” it. Instead, out of love and concern for his well-being, I’m going to confront him and encourage him to change his ways.
Thus, love is not about getting what we want from others or even about giving others what they want; it’s about serving others and giving them what they most need. Perhaps it’s food or shelter. Perhaps it’s clothes or an education. Perhaps it’s healthcare or even just someone to talk with. Perhaps it’s the hope and peace found only in the Good News that Jesus Christ rose from the dead. How will you help those in need? How will you share the Good News?
Lord Jesus, help us to love those we find difficult to love. Help us to forgive those we cannot seem to forgive. Help us to hope beyond hope and believe the unbelievable. Help us to stand up against the powers of the world and give witness to the beauty of true love. Amen.
